Where is your heart in your blog?

Hey all. I know it's been about a week since my last blog, and I would like to apologize but in thinking about it, I really don't know why I should. The purpose of this blog was for myself. I am not getting paid to write this, or have thousands of followers who rely on reading my blog every day as a source of entertainment. Which is all fine and dandy for those who enjoy to use their blogs however they please. But my blog is not to serve anyone else's purposes. It is for mine only and if along the way people enjoy, are moved, get inspired, and learn something new from my blog than that is a bonus. I am not writing for anyone else and I think a lot of times I feel guilty when I don't blog daily or at least a few times a week. And really, I think that's just silly, why should I feel guilty for something I want to do for myself? It's like feeling guilty for not writing in your diary/journal.

The blog world is quite a different world than every day life, but like all things, there are pressures that come with it. And it is hard to not fall into those traps. To not want to make your blog bigger and better every day. To not want 1000+ followers or get 30+ comments daily. To not want to have the best page and all the accessories to go with it. It is strange how we can have blog envy and how we can start comparing our blogs to others like our blogs are us. If my blog doesn't look like this it's not pretty enough so therefore I am not good enough, etc. If I don't have enough followers, no one must like me or want to read my blog more than once. If I am not an ambassador or guest poster or something along those lines than my blog isn't good enough. If I don't have give aways or link ups to weekly blog themes other bloggers must not want to be associated with my blog. It is so easy to think these things and let them suck you in.

I find it funny how we can take our worldly perceptions and habits and throw them into a different world and conform them to that world to make them work just the same. And if you are not a blogger, these woes would not apply to you nor would you understand what I mean. But in taking this break for a week and thinking about things, and going to therapy to deal with my past rape (read about it here), my mind has been opening a lot. I am able to view things differently and recognize patterns in certain behaviors and I am learning how to look past them and view with a new light. To view myself as an I, not an it or a comparison towards others constantly. I am learning I am an individual and when I do things, regardless of what they are, they should be for myself. Not as in I am going to be completely selfish and forget everyone. But I am not going to hold my standards for others to make them for me. And I think that takes courage and gumption and confidence to do. And it's a process we all go through and come to at some point.

I am not better than anyone else and have struggled with this for so long. So if I don't blog every day or read other's people's blogs and comment, I am no longer going to feel guilty about it. This is not my job although it has a tendency to feel like a part time job, and I don't owe it my time. And therefore I will not apologize if I don't write daily or comment daily. And I challenge other blog writers to really look deep into why they started blogging. Did you do it just to get a fan base? Do you really want to share your love of fashion or cooking? Was your goal to share your life with your family so they could see how life was treating you? Or were you like me and did this for yourself? No matter how you started this blog, the question now is, are you still following that?

Or do you find yourself writing just for others to read and to keep them coming back? I challenge you to be true to yourself, and your blogging self and re evaluate your blog and see if you are writing for your initial reasoning you began the blog. Maybe you have strayed so far you have forgotten why you started this in the first place. Don't conform the real world into blog world like so many tend to do. Be unique, be different, be you. Don't let your blog be a popularity contest, it's not. Let us see the real you, the beautiful you, the smart you, the funny you, the happy and sad you, the hard working and sometimes lazy you, the creative you, and the you that gave you the courage to start blogging. You deserve to love yourself and this blog without all the pressures that come with it. To know that even if 1 or 0 people read your blog, you are still happy with it.

So bloggers, I ask you honestly, is your blog true to you? Or has it become something lost in the blog world conformed with real world standards? Where is your heart in your blog?

Blog Envy

I hate to say that I still struggle with Blog Envy. It is hard to go to other people's pages and see them all fancy and done up and have all these followers and giveaways, comments, pictures, etc. I think I may be having dailymile envy too! But alas I saw this quote and reminded myself to snap myself out of it!

via Pinterest

And I must remind myself why I created my blog in the first place. It wasn't to get "popular" and to waste endless amounts of time on a blog per day as if it were my hobby. It was a place where I could go to express my thoughts, even though sometimes my husband makes fun of them, ok not sometimes like all times. It was a place where I could have a chance to minister unto others and maybe reach those I don't know or see often. It was a place to share my experience in becoming a new wife and what entailed with this new life and future. To log my adventures in life! So as much as I would love to have all these adoring fans, I must remember why I started this blog and be faithful to that. Not be faithful to the hub bub of the Blog world. But to remember to just be me and do what I wanted to do, not blend in.

via Pinterest

In other news, ran 3 miles yesterday! Woo been awhile since I have done that. I won't lie, it wasn't collectively. I did 2, then walked for 5 minutes then ran the second one. It will be nice when I can get back to where I at least used to be with running. Miss when I could run for an hour. I did run 5 or 6 miles once I believe. A few years ago, but I did it! So I know it is in there, and I know I can get to a 10k with hard work! I am thinking about the Martian Run in May before our honeymoon. I was debating about Big House, Big Heart 10k because they moved it up. But Megan said the Martian Run you get a medal for 10k.. and well.. I WANT a medal! I mean who doesn't? It would be so nice to have a medal for my first 10k! I am so proud to have a bff like Megan by my side as she gives me such great inspiration to be a better runner! I am excited to watch her train for a full marathon this year! She's got this! To read more about her journey click here.

My knee isn't much better, but I could run on it. It bugged me at some points of the run but I kept pushing through and really tried to stretch it. I think I just inflamed it doing leg stuff a few weeks ago, and I am hoping lots of stretching, icing, and Ibprofin will help! I remembered I had an ace bandage that has the ice bag in it! Yes no more ice cubes in a baggy for me! 

Yes! Minus hairy man's leg! Via google.

Then I finished up my workout with some abs, arms and shoulder weights, and lovely planks. Which I swear Brent is never at a loss to make us do planks and squats every work out. We are lucky to escape either! I still will never like planks! Next Tuesday I am hoping to try a BodyFlow class. It is Tai chi, Pilates, and Yoga mixed. I have to time this well because if I do it too closely to PT, then I will be sore while I train, and no that's a bad idea. And after I train, I am sore for about 2 days to the point of I can not move much, so that will not work either. So it looks as though Tuesday is my only window of oppurtunity! And it's a 6:30 class, so hopefully I can make it by then! 

Then I came home and had some dinner, and watched the Biggest Loser and cooked our turkey meat, chicken, beans, quinoa, and cleaned up the kitchen. I swear it is a never ending battle! I can empty dishwasher, refill it, clean some of the pots in sink, and it still looks like I didn't touch it! Then I get it all nice and clean and in 5 minutes BAM dirty again! Man I can't wait till we have kids, I don't think it will ever be clean!

Go from this to this:

then finally to this:

and 5 minutes later I swear this is what happens!

NEVER ENDS! All images via google

I did see this picture on Pinterest that made me laugh for multiple reasons.

via google

1. REALLY? I mean REALLY? Who thinks of this crap.

2. I really hope that isn't a little kid.

3. Red? Uhm, is she the wicked witch of the south? Why red?

4. They could have at least made her shoes a little cuter, just sayin.

5. Why does a sink with human legs, have better muscles than me? Not fair.

6. Yet I still laugh at this.

Ok, one last thing, a marriage thing. I did not realize before getting married that sleeping in the same bed can be quite difficult. If one of you has a restless night, so does the other. Aka, Lyndsey is tired today! Thinking about an early bed time tonight.. ya I always say this, never happens! We shall see! Have a good day all! I leave you with this.

via Pinterest