They will just get to heaven before we do.

This post today is not going to be the happiest of topics just to pre-warn you.

I had previously mentioned my friend with the twins in the hospital. Yesterday, sadly, she had to deliver at 22 weeks. They were able to hold both girls before they passed away. My heart breaks so much for them. I love children and I don't have any of my own yet but now starting to get in the mindset of becoming a mother, I can't even imagine how this must feel. Not only to lose one, but two at the same time. And amidst the pain it is so hard to say you are ok with this and to not be angry at God for taking them. We know they are up in heaven with God. Playing with our Savior and just waiting for their parents to one day join them. I am dedicating two videos to them today.

Watermark-Glory Baby- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hxc_ANJptk&list=LLxskeK7IgSDo4pZzcFWHqDQ&index=1&feature=plpp_video

Celine Dion-Fly-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qVdFl64gt0

I felt moved by God to do this post about death today. It is such a touchy subject, yet so many are afraid to talk about it. But why? It's natural, it happens every single day. So many people are told to hold in their emotions and never move forward with the grieving process. When in all realness you need to cry, you need to talk about it, you need to miss them, you need to realize how much they meant to you, you need to grieve. If we just hold on to them and don't let go we end up struggling so much and become depressed, angry, bitter. It's ok to have emotions and to feel like the world has ended. But we have to also realize we need to look at the bright side of things.

God would never give us more then we could handle. He has a bigger plan then we could imagine, and yes it sucks that he takes people away from us. But look at the time you got to spend with that person. We all will die eventually so isn't it better to see all the good things that came from that person's life? They changed yours in some way, shape, or form. Think how much better off they are out of this horrible world. They get to be with God and our Savior. They will just get to heaven before we do. They may have been in immense pain before, and now they are happy and pain free again. As selfish as we want to be and keep them with us, would you rather be in pain or pain free? It is hard to see anyone go, but we will never understand why God takes them from us.

I have lost 3 grandfathers and understand that pain. I miss my papap so much still 5 years later. I regret the time I should have spent with him and realize now how important it is to spend time with family. I also had one of my teacher's in high school lose their baby girl. She lived to be about 3 months. We didn't have school the day of her funeral. I remember seeing her in that tiny tiny casket and my heart broke. Then they went to wheel her into the front for her service and I was just in shock. I had never witnessed anything like this emotion before. I had never seen so many grown men sobbing before. It was so hard to watch this precious tiny child laying there lifeless like a baby doll in front of me. It seemed so unreal. But in the same token, the things that were spoken that day at this funeral were some of the most amazing things and stories I had ever heard. Even through this hard time God has moved in so many ways in so many lives. I could feel God so strongly that day and could see him working in that room. It was a time of celebration, not mourning. People relayed how this little girl had changed their lives and it was beyond moving. And oddly enough, the parents of the baby were more calm and at peace then anyone in that room. I can't even explain what something like this feels like, but in the midst of so much sorrow, they still praised God and made happiness out of sadness. I will never forget that.

It is strange how death can have such an emotional affect on us. It brings so much into perspective. Makes you stop dead in your tracks and really analyze yourself and your life. I find that in times like these it really makes me think, how do I want people to remember me? How do I want to leave my legacy. Do I want people to remember me in a negative way, a happy way, an inspirational way, a Godly way? I hope that people can see God in me when my life here is over. I hope people know how much I love them and care for them. I hope people have been touched or inspired in some way by me. I hope I make a difference in this world. I hope I bring God to someone unsaved. I hope my family remembers all the good times, laughter, and cries of happiness, not the bad things I have done. I hope friends can be filled with happy memories of me and laugh when they think of me. I want to leave behind a good legacy and this has also contributed to reasons as to why I have changed my life for the better. I want to feel as though I lived for a purpose here on Earth and that I have so much to look forward to in Heaven. That this world is not my home, and there is something beyond our wildest dreams and imagination waiting for us. I can not wait to run into my father's arms and finally feel his physical presence. I can't wait to talk to Jesus and ask him questions about his life! I can't wait to see my Papap and baby Bella!

So I ask you, how do you want to leave your legacy? Look back on your life, is it how you thought things would be? Are you who you want to be? If you aren't then why? What's stopping you? What change is needed in your life? If you died tomorrow, is the legacy you have something you are proud of? How would people remember you? We don't know when our time here on Earth will be over, and yes this may be deep, yes this may be emotional and scary, but I just want people to realize just how they are living. Sometimes it takes a good reality check or something big to snap you out of things. I am not afraid to push, to challenge, and to make you think. It will help you grow, it will make you stronger, and hopefully a better person out of it. Really look at your life and admit to yourself the truth. Is this really the best life you could have? When people look at you do they see God? Or do they see negative, partying, drugs, alcohol, anger, bitterness, or someone who is lost? It's up to you to decide that and decide your legacy.

"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." Psalms 119:50
''Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4

In parting I just have some videos I felt like sharing that are songs. You don't have to listen but I felt like putting them on here. If you do listen to one, I hope one of them moves you. All of these have gotten me through a point in my life.

Lead me to the cross-Hillsongs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdq9Q8wJdjc&feature=related
Our God is greater-Chris Tomlin- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlA5IDnpGhc&feature=related
I lift my hands- Chris Tomlin-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbNK50T35wY&feature=related
I surrender- Kim Walker- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSgn-nmBpNY&list=LLxskeK7IgSDo4pZzcFWHqDQ&index=4&feature=plpp_video
Your love never fails- Jesus Culture- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_2qG22SPwU&list=LLxskeK7IgSDo4pZzcFWHqDQ&index=5&feature=plpp_video
Praise you in this storm-Casting Crowns-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ&feature=related
To know you- Casting Crowns- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzwd6JTaXPQ&feature=related
There will be a day- Jeremy Camp- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8gkDiTvloc&feature=related
Cry out to Jesus-Third Day- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLSKSlJ0-2s&feature=related
Who am I- Casting Crowns- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oEMoJJj3L8&feature=related
How He loves us- David Crowder Band-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLSKSlJ0-2s&feature=related