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Kylee Noelle

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Are you a negative nancy?

I heard this quote on Bethanny Ever After last night (one of my fav shows) and it really struck a chord with me.

"The true test of character isn't how you are on your best days, it's how you are on your worst days or when things don't go right."

this really hit home with me with everything that has been going on over the past few months. You know the saying "things will get worse before they get better?" Well I believe that is quite true and I have been living and breathing that phrase recently. And with my therapy, I am learning just how to deal with things when they do go wrong, or on my bad days. And when I heard this quote I just started thinking about how I was at the beginning of therapy, and where I am now when it comes to my thinking and how I have responded to these difficult times. And I can say I have improved a lot, nowhere near what I would like to be, but I can see a difference in my thinking now and I think how we act in hard times and when things don't go our way is quite a huge test.

We can either let it get to us and wallow in our pity and sadness, or find the positive things in a negative moment. Which is what I am learning to do with myself, not just a bad moment. Like for example, trying on clothes which can be torture. Instead of getting so upset and finding everything negative I can about myself or the outfit, I am now learning to find the positive, like well the fit isn't right, but I love this color on me. This outfit does not fit my unique body shape and I just have to find something that compliments it. My body is not a bad thing or against me. But instead of letting it get to me, I am learning to think positive toward any situation.

Another example would be your plans getting canceled. I am an avid fan of hating when this happens and letting it ruin my day and sulking along with the nobody wants to hang out with me thought process. I am so notorious for that. Now I am working on the thought, well it got canceled so now I have this free time and there is a reason I am not going so I will enjoy something else and not be upset over this and find the positive in it.

Trust me this thought process is SO very difficult and I literally have to think about every step and second of my day now, but being aware of things is so helpful and being aware of my actions and my reactions. I am so much better at analyzing situations vs over reacting or assuming things. And I am getting so much better at bringing situations to God and expressing my worry, concern, or asking help in discerning things and having brought to light what I should see and take away from things.

My therapist has told me at the end of the day to reflect on my entire day and every emotion I experienced and why I felt that way without judging myself. Just bring awareness to myself of how I am thinking through out the day. She said I would be surprised at how negative my thinking was, and boy was I. I really can not believe how much I let myself be consumed by negative thoughts. And when you have such negative thoughts, you acquire a negative attitude which affects everyyyyything.

Proverbs 23:7 says "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." I didn't realize how much of a negative world I had created for myself until this process. And it is a daily struggle to fight with those negative thoughts. Some days, I lose. But the important thing is, now I am catching myself doing this and recognizing it so I can work to make it better. I am starting to notice my negative thoughts, and when I say negative things. And it is so freeing to be able to recognize this and be able to work on changing it which will help change my every day life and attitude.

It also helps me see more beauty in God's creations. Instead of being mad it's raining, look at how beautiful the rain is and sounds. How that rain is bringing water to animals and plants to help them grow. The rainbow that may follow that rain. It's as easy as that to switch your mind set and when you do, you begin to see beauty in things a lot more easily.

I have decided to enlist some help with working on changing this negativity. So I am asking all my friends, family, fellow bloggers to help me. If you see/hear me being negative, I ask you to bring it to my attention. Sometimes I don't realize I am doing it, and I want to become more aware of when I am doing it so I can correct it. And other people notice it a lot more quickly then I would! So please be kind when bringing it up, but please help me as well!

I also heard about a book where this lady writes down something daily that she is thankful for. Not your I am thankful for today amen type deal. But really looking hard into her day and looking for the beauty in things and being specific for what she is thankful for. For example-the way the sun sparkles on the water moving in the pond. Opening your eyes up to what's around you and it will make you start looking for that beauty! So I have decided I am going to do this every day as well in my own world. It is nice to read about them, but that doesn't really challenge me to find things on my own. So I will write them down, and put some in my blog when I do blog as well!

Your turn- Now I ask you this difficult question-how negative are you? Do you even realize when you are being negative? I challenge you to push yourself in this area. Survey your day at the end of it and write down all your emotions you experienced that day and why. See where your mind leads. Does it tend to go negative or does it tend to go positive? Maybe half and half? I challenge you to be real with yourself and push yourself to change your thoughts to a more positive light. Maybe you don't think it will affect anything in your life if you do that. Then how about this, every day for the next 2-3 weeks work on this and see if things change by being more positive in EVERY aspect of your life. You don't have to report back to me, this is your deal! But if you do decide to try it and want to share your thoughts or how you are doing, I am always happy to hear from you! And if you don't share and this helps you, then I am so glad you challenged yourself! It takes a lot to look at yourself and recognize things that you may need to work on, but when you do it makes a world of difference! And this is something other people will notice and can greatly change your every day life!

I challenge you to grow and want to make yourself better and make your life more positive! Good luck!


Suz and Allan said...

I really enjoyed this post Lyndsey! This is one of those things my mom instilled in us from an early age and even now when my sister or I call and we are going through something Mom will always find the positive in the situation or tell us that although we don't understand why or how this is happening that it's all part of God's plan. Those words have often carried me through a situation that I couldn't find anything positive about at the time. Sorry for being so wordy!

Stephanie said...

This is a great post...I can be really negative sometimes, and I really beat myself up over the littlest things. If ANYTHING goes wrong, or deviates from my plans, then I turn into the grumpiest, most negative person. It's really frustrating, and I can see myself doing it and I can't seem to stop it. I'm working on it though!

Kristin Miller said...

Yea I had a REALLY hard time last week when my spring break VA Beach vacation got cancelled...24 hours before it was supposed to begin! Thankfully today was a crazy day with stressed out coworkers and insane kids and I managed, by the grace of God, to not flip out on any of them! WINNING!

Evelien said...

I've been working on my negativity a lot and I think it has already improved so much! Just remembering to see the positive side, makes such a difference :)
You're doing such a great job with that therapy! It's really great that you're opening yourself up for changes in your life, you will taste the benefit of it!

Lindsay said...

It's so hard to not complain and to give thanks! Thanks for the reminder!

Nikskie said...

that is so true!
i try to lessen my negativity each day and i feel happier.

The Students Wife said...

I love this post, Its so easy to complain, its a good reminder to be looking for the positive.

I just found your blog.. i'm your newest follower :)


Ioana-Carmen said...

This is so beautifuuuul! Check my blog and tell me if you wanna follow each other!! :X

ms.composure said...

stumbled onto your blog and just wanted to leave you a little blog luv! Def enjoyed this post!! New Follower via email :-)

Chrissi Holt said...

Hi !

I suggest that you read the Power of Now by Eckhart Toille. it is a really good read and will help you tremendously.

Love Chrissi