My one and only

null

My little love

My little love
Lola

Wanna swap? Grab my button! :)

Life as a wife

Macky Madness

For love of a cupcake

The little love birds

bnfunky

Kylee Noelle

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Where is your heart in your blog?

Hey all. I know it's been about a week since my last blog, and I would like to apologize but in thinking about it, I really don't know why I should. The purpose of this blog was for myself. I am not getting paid to write this, or have thousands of followers who rely on reading my blog every day as a source of entertainment. Which is all fine and dandy for those who enjoy to use their blogs however they please. But my blog is not to serve anyone else's purposes. It is for mine only and if along the way people enjoy, are moved, get inspired, and learn something new from my blog than that is a bonus. I am not writing for anyone else and I think a lot of times I feel guilty when I don't blog daily or at least a few times a week. And really, I think that's just silly, why should I feel guilty for something I want to do for myself? It's like feeling guilty for not writing in your diary/journal.

The blog world is quite a different world than every day life, but like all things, there are pressures that come with it. And it is hard to not fall into those traps. To not want to make your blog bigger and better every day. To not want 1000+ followers or get 30+ comments daily. To not want to have the best page and all the accessories to go with it. It is strange how we can have blog envy and how we can start comparing our blogs to others like our blogs are us. If my blog doesn't look like this it's not pretty enough so therefore I am not good enough, etc. If I don't have enough followers, no one must like me or want to read my blog more than once. If I am not an ambassador or guest poster or something along those lines than my blog isn't good enough. If I don't have give aways or link ups to weekly blog themes other bloggers must not want to be associated with my blog. It is so easy to think these things and let them suck you in.

I find it funny how we can take our worldly perceptions and habits and throw them into a different world and conform them to that world to make them work just the same. And if you are not a blogger, these woes would not apply to you nor would you understand what I mean. But in taking this break for a week and thinking about things, and going to therapy to deal with my past rape (read about it here), my mind has been opening a lot. I am able to view things differently and recognize patterns in certain behaviors and I am learning how to look past them and view with a new light. To view myself as an I, not an it or a comparison towards others constantly. I am learning I am an individual and when I do things, regardless of what they are, they should be for myself. Not as in I am going to be completely selfish and forget everyone. But I am not going to hold my standards for others to make them for me. And I think that takes courage and gumption and confidence to do. And it's a process we all go through and come to at some point.

I am not better than anyone else and have struggled with this for so long. So if I don't blog every day or read other's people's blogs and comment, I am no longer going to feel guilty about it. This is not my job although it has a tendency to feel like a part time job, and I don't owe it my time. And therefore I will not apologize if I don't write daily or comment daily. And I challenge other blog writers to really look deep into why they started blogging. Did you do it just to get a fan base? Do you really want to share your love of fashion or cooking? Was your goal to share your life with your family so they could see how life was treating you? Or were you like me and did this for yourself? No matter how you started this blog, the question now is, are you still following that?

Or do you find yourself writing just for others to read and to keep them coming back? I challenge you to be true to yourself, and your blogging self and re evaluate your blog and see if you are writing for your initial reasoning you began the blog. Maybe you have strayed so far you have forgotten why you started this in the first place. Don't conform the real world into blog world like so many tend to do. Be unique, be different, be you. Don't let your blog be a popularity contest, it's not. Let us see the real you, the beautiful you, the smart you, the funny you, the happy and sad you, the hard working and sometimes lazy you, the creative you, and the you that gave you the courage to start blogging. You deserve to love yourself and this blog without all the pressures that come with it. To know that even if 1 or 0 people read your blog, you are still happy with it.

So bloggers, I ask you honestly, is your blog true to you? Or has it become something lost in the blog world conformed with real world standards? Where is your heart in your blog?

11 comments:

Stephanie said...

This is something I struggled with for on and off, and I've finally come to a place where I've learned to just go with the flow and write when and how I want to write. From the beginning my blog was a scrapbook of our family life, and I never wanted it to be a source of income. I have to remember that, and stay true to the roots of my blog, or it will become something that I'm not. What would be the point of a scrapbook that's not really about me?

I think your blog is beautiful, and you should never apologize for not blogging everyday. It's great the way it is.

Suz and Allan said...

This is a very well-written post and something I often wonder about with regard to certain blogs and how they've changed. I started blogging for me, just for fun, and that's still what it is for me is fun. Allan calls the blog our online scrapbook. Yes I do have a lot of giveaways but that's how I am in real life too. I'm constantly picking up things that my family and friends like. My sister's husband asked my sister why I had randomly picked out a shirt for him and she passed it off as something I've always done. Sorry, that got wordy! I just say all that to say that my blog is for me and I don't give a care if 10 or 10,000 people read it.

the lovebirds said...

this is such a well written post. You have got me thinking about my blog and my words. I started blogging as a way of "journalling" our life and our adventurers. I try to stay true to that. it's hard not to get wrapped up into everything in the blogging world! As in caring about gaining followers and making money. It's a crazy world out there! ha. xo

Evelien said...

Great post!!
I also feel guilty for not blogging every time, I even have a real-life friend that commands me to write more often if I'm not writing haha!
But it IS about MY life, it's MY blog so I shouldn't feel bad about not blogging :)
Thanks for the reminder :)
And I hope your therapy is going well and you're not having too much pressure from it. Keep on going, you're doing a great job!!

Megan said...

I adore this post, girl. Some people may blog for random reasons and enjoy just sharing fashion or pinterest pictures, but I want my blog to be a journal of our life and my emotions. I want it to be real and to be ME!!

Megan said...

PS: I miss chatting with you!! Hope you are doing well!!

Lindsay said...

Lovely post! I started my blog as a private journal but very slowly it's growing into a way to document my new life. Even though only a very small number of people read it, less than 10, it's still easy to get caught up in making sure everything seems perfect.

I appreciate how honest you are on your blog and frequently you share your REAL life. It's refreshing and I am always looking forward to your posts! Thanks for being so real!

Autumn Ingram said...

Hey girl, this post is great. When I started blogging, I had no idea how huge the blog world was. I started my blog because I wanted to remember funny/random/happy/sad/etc things that happened in my new newlywed life. I didn't do it for any other reason. I had no idea that I would also feel a sort of "peer pressure" from blogging.

I nominated you for an award in my last blog post. I nominated you because I love how real and honest you are in your posts. Just wanted to let you know:)

Autumn

Julie @ The Smitten Mintons said...

Wow you hit the nail right on the head! I think we all get sucked into the numbers game every once in a while, at least I know I do, but I try refocus as quickly as possible. I'm never happy when I'm comparing myself/my blog to others. I'm glad to hear you are writing for YOU and no one else...honestly, those are always the best blogs to read :)

Shonnie said...

What a lovely post. I completely agree. You see people with thousands of followers and feel like your blog is pointless..

I started mine as an escape, a place to document me and my hubby's new life together.

Thanks for taking me back to my roots!

Chrissi Holt said...

My heart is definitely in my blog. While it is for myself it is I think for others too. I thought I would try and make my blog less personal as possible and more work orientated, but I found that I was lost for words. Then I realised that I had to be more honest with myself and bring a part of me into it to bring it more to life.

I think that this has helped a lot :)

Love Chrissi

www.christianaholt.blogspot.com