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Thursday, March 1, 2012

Shopping & Nap Monsters

Woo! It's March! We made it! Winter is almost over-YES x2848839459530! Although I am not complaining about this winter, it was by far the warmest and weirdest winter in MI I have ever experienced. I could adjust to this new winter mother nature! Let's just hope we escape the rest of this month!

Now for today's discussion, shopping. And this is not about how much you loveeee shopping. Sorry ladies, I am not one of those people. I do not spend hours upon hours in the mall. I do not have credit cards racked up the wazoo because of jewelry, clothes, or shoes. Although, I probably could with shoes! I do not feel like I am in heaven when I am shopping. And I do not get a panic attack thinking about the wonderful sales I may experience at my favorite over priced, make the same stuff target does store. I do not think paying $150 for a pair of jeans is a "snag" or a "deal." And I do not think owning the same dress, shirt, or shorts in every color is a win.
NOT ME via google
Me me me!!! via google

No, no that is not me at all. In fact, I loathe shopping 90% of the time. I get a panic attack thinking about shopping. Especially trying on swim suits! Is it just me or does is swim shopping just a death sentance on your day? You are either going to go in to try them on and have a bad day, or you will end up having a really bad day. I have yet to come out happy and skipping after swim suit shopping. And going to specialty swim suit shops? Forget it! They make you come out and prance around in your swimsuit for all the world to see. NO, I don't think so. Then of course you have Miss America pop out with her C cups and size 2 body and rockboard abs and her proceeding to say- "I don't know, does this one make me look fat?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Just kill me now. I DIE in those stores. No way will you drag me in there. I will kick, scream, cry, bite, and claw you before I go in there!
Exactly how I feel. via google

I am no size 0, or a stick figure. I have hips, thighs, longgg legs, and a womanly shape. So I can't just walk into a store and buy something and it just fits. And the same theory to trying on clothes in dressing rooms applies once again. I feel like every time I walk into a dressing room the music of dun dun dunnnn plays in my head. I think each dressing room I have been in has consumed a little piece of my soul! Secretly, I think this is why I go into normal stores like sears or jcpenny (gasp, the horror!) just so I can be around normal people or old ladies and not feel like I am a giant cow!

And going into stores like Hollister are a joke. Really people? Those clothes were designed for middle schoolers with no boobs, butt, thighs, or legs. I tried a skirt on once there, I laughed so hard in the dressing room, I literally fell over because I could barely get it past my knees. It was such a joke. And their sizes run about 6 sizes too small for the normal person.
sounds about right! via google

Then you have Forever 21. While I have days I love this store, other days I want to ram my head into a wall being in there. You can't just go in for 5 minutes and find what you are looking for. It takes me an hour to search that store because there is SO much. If you don't like shopping, this store is like a never ending labrynth of clothes. I get a headache by the time I leave from so many colors and choices. And you find a shirt after 40 minutes and then the hunt begins for something to match. Start all over again people. I just really can not spend that much time in 1 store. Then their lines are always super long with the one, possibly two cashiers that seem to take their good ole time ringing people up and ignoring them at the same time. I have yet to meet a friendly cashier at this store who smiles and actually looks into your eyes when speaking to you. This is because those employees are running around rampid trying to put 900 articles of clothes back per person!

I would get into how the people at Victoria's Secret barge in on you while trying on your lovely items and make you come out to display all your bodily goodness. But, I worked there and was one of those people! Hah! Maybe one day I will blog about my days at Vicky's. Short lived! That store is not as glamorous as it seems! If you have ever shopped there and tried on something, you can probably relate to this picture.
via google

And shopping when you are hungry? Oh get out of here. I become a cranky monster. Especially if my shopping takes longer than an hour or two. Everything I try on just doesn't seem to fit, the lines are too long, I am tired of walking, my back hurts. It's just not pretty people. I become some other person, and I am just not a joy to be around. Don't even get me started on black friday or christmas shopping. That is a whole other subject!

The only shopping I love is buying new underwear. Why? I don't know. I could have 900 pairs and still want new ones! They are just so fun. I am strange, I know.

And now we must talk about naps. I LOVE love love naps. I would take one daily if possible. I wish we had nap hour at work like when we were in pre-school. Some people are not nap people, or don't really value their naps. This is NOT me. Antonio learned the hard way the other day that you do NOT, I repeat do not try to wake Lyndsey up from a nap before it is time to get up. I am not a nice person, I admit this when you mess with my naps. He came in and told me it was time to wake up. My response-"if you don't leave me alone, I will punch you in the face." Yes, sadly, I am that person. He has learned his lesson. My parents should have passed this knowledge on to him on our wedding day. They learned the hard way about 15 years ago to leave me alone during my nap time. My mom says I am a pit bull when I nap. She is correct. I feel as though this cartoon sums it up perfectly.
Can't win em all right? Besides naps, I am a super nice person! Really, I am! I promise.

And my last ramble of the day is about yesterday. Went to Yoga, and yoga lady kicked our butts. This was the hardest yoga class I have ever taken in my life. I wanted to die. She was making us do things I had never done before, and my poor body is aching today. I feel like my chi was assaulted. Ok, I lie. I don't know what that even means. But for real, I was literally upside down on one leg with my toes almost touching my back. It was nuts. I don't know who she thought we were, but this was not your newcomer yoga! I used muscles I didn't even know existed! 

And the weather here was a foggy mess. This is what we lived in ALL day.
This was 2:30 pm.

So your turn
-How do you feel about shopping? Do you agree, disagree? Love or Loathe it? 
-Any dressing room stories/nightmares to share?
-How do you feel about swim suit shopping?
-Do you love naps like me? Do you become a monster too?
-Have you ever walked into a fitness class thinking it was going to be easy then ended up getting rocked?

2 comments:

Ali Mc said...

you'd love to buy clothes from us at my work. We get compliments all the time at how nice, not pushy and awesome at dressing body types we are. People love it ;) it's all about getting someone that wants you to be happy. I'm with you I like owning things, hate shopping.

Megan said...

I am NOT a shopper either! Don't get me wrong, I love new things. I just wish that people would deliver them to me. Haha! I hate having to look around forever!